Working With Borderline Personality Disorder

Christian Bateman Wealthy, arrogant and materialistic. I merge and acquire. There have been a number of excellent articles written here about girls who suffer from personality disorders like BPD. So this article is for the guys out there whose masochistic tendencies run deep and are ready for a world of pain. Dating borderline women is like playing the game of thrones with one exception: When you play this game you either lose… or you die.

Borderline personality disorder

The most common form of self-harm involves cutting of the skin using a sharp object, e. The term self-mutilation is also sometimes used, although this phrase evokes connotations that some find worrisome, inaccurate, or offensive. A broader definition of self-harm might also include those who inflict harm on their bodies by means of disordered eating.

Some of the most emotionally abusive relationships and traumatic divorces involve the mentally ill. One of the most difficult of these mental illnesses is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) because it is not easily diagnosed.

Uses manipulation or seduction to suck their ex-partner back after a period of separation. Very theatrical and hysterical behavior and the more attention it gives them, the more they play up to it. Unpredictable and acts at the spur of the moment without thinking about consequences. Very little humility, compassion, care or concern for other people or their suffering or difficulties.

They use charm, flattery or threats to manipulate people into giving them what they want or into doing something for them. Almost bi-polar in their emotions, one minute extremely happy and high and the next screaming, crying or throwing themselves in a heap on the ground in a childish tantrum. Very childlike in their speech, words or actions and may genuinely have a very innocent and vulnerable approach to the world.

A Tale of Two Cheaters: Are You Married to a Serial Cheater

But one of the toughest aspects of these breakups is the persistent longing to get back that feeling of ultimate fulfillment you may have had at certain points during the relationship. This longing after a BPD breakup can be so strong that it can drive a man to return to a woman who he knows will try to abuse him. And even those men who successfully resist the urge to rekindle the relationship may find their recovery bogged down by these constant reminders of what they once had.

Most relationship breakups are messy and they can also be quite painful. But there are certain very complex dynamics at work in a BPD breakup that can make this experience literally traumatic. These breakups are often described as a complete blindside with no possibility of closure.

My insights about working with borderline personality disorder — with clients as well as managing the volatile and difficult man who lives inside me.

Predictable patterns of marriage breakdown There is no single reason why a relationship begins to break down. However, once a relationship does start to break down, there is a predictable sequence of events that tends to occur. Highly regarded psychologist and researcher John Gottman, Ph. The first stage of the breakdown process involves intractable conflict and complaints. All couples have conflicts from time to time, but some couples are able to resolve those conflicts successfully or ‘agree to disagree’, while others find that they are not.

As we observed earlier, it is not the number or intensity of arguments that is problematic but rather whether or not resolution of those arguments is likely or possible. Couples that get into trouble find themselves in conflicts that they cannot resolve or compromise upon to both party’s satisfaction. Such disagreements can be caused by any number of reasons, but might involve a clash of spousal values on core topics such as whether to have children, or how to handle money.

Frequently, couples assume that misunderstandings are at the root of their conflicts. Acting on this belief, spouses often try to resolve their conflicts by repeatedly stating and restating their respective rationals during disagreements. This strategy of repetition usually doesn’t work because most of the time couple conflicts are not based on misunderstandings, but rather on real differences in values.

When this is the case, stating and restating one’s position is based on a mistaken premise and can only cause further upset.

Sociopath World: Dating other sociopaths

Like she was too much effort? Like she was involved in WAY too much drama? Like she was always changing the way she felt about you? Like she was giving you mixed messages? I can see how dating and relating experiences like this can really confuse you.

So is my boyfriends 53 yr old mother. She is def. a borderline pd person (a severe bpd at that) and additionally at minimum has a lot of hpd, dpd and npd traits if not these pds full blown.

They can be very enjoyable to hang out with. At the same time, are they also good partners when it comes to talking through differences of opinion? Or is there something about how they communicate in a relationship that makes narcissistic folks provocative? Ever tried to be friends or a love partner with someone who is all about me? Someone who only listens to him or herself? A partner who changes the topic, gets defensive or gets mad at you when you try to talk about difficulties you’ve been experiencing?

Narcissistic functioning at core is a disorder of listening. Think of it as one-sided listening, with multiple features that emerge as a result. The desire to sustain a friendship , never mind a love relationship, can quickly fade with someone who does not seem to see or hear you, who dismissively pushes away what you say, and who may be quick to anger if you attempt nonetheless to express your viewpoint,. Score each dimension from 0 to 5.

Why Some Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Mothers Sabotage their Children

Wednesday, February 6, Dating other sociopaths From a reader asking if it is a good idea for sociopaths to date other sociopaths: My reasons for thinking we’re a perfect match: We need a challenge; everyone else is just too easy to win over. When friends ask me how I do it, I shrug and say something banal because it is useless to try to explain.

I’m sure that more than a few of you will easily recognize your relatives in these descriptions of the personality disorder diagnoses. In many cases, a relative will only have some of the traits of a given personality disorder I’ve described.

But that would be good for everyone involved, and BPD is the epitome of evil. This article is a decent introduction to BPD women, but it only scratches the surface. Sure there are minor outbursts and warning signs at the outset, I really was ignorant, but also largely ignored a lot of red flags which I now really regret. Any how to make a long story short, I was blinded by the pussy, sex with a a BPD a really hot BPD is like fucking crack, you become addicted to that shit.

On top of that, this girl was so over the top with telling me she loved me, I was her soul mate, she wanted to marry me, etc. The culmination of which ended when she was belligerently blacked out drunk, was acting violently and abusively towards me and then when I went off on her calling her a psycho bitch and hit her with a pillow, she ran into her kitchen and called on her house phone, crazy bitch was threatening to hit her head against the wall to make it look like I hit her. When the cops showed up they said they saw a red mark on her neck, I should have kept my mouth shut, because I thought I had did nothing wrong and told them what happened, ofcourse they took my words out of context, twisted them around and falsely made me out to be abusive in their police report.

That bitch basically ruined my life and on top of that I hate the psycological torment that she put me through, to make things worse I pretty much figured out that she had cheated on me after the break up. These women are masters at lying and masters at manipulation. These girls have serious daddy issues and in many cases have been molested as children.

Not only are they fucking manipulative, but their end game is to totally fucking control you. Once they totally fucking control you, they come to resent you, then they fuck you over, cheat on you with your best friend, or do some other super fucked up shit, just for their own shits and giggles. They can be sociopathic in that they completely lack remorse for their actions.

The 10 Personality Disorders

Why does my wife feed our kids a steady diet of junk food? Does she want them to be obese? My ex allows our year old daughter to sleep in the same bed with her. What the hell is going on?

AVOIDANT PERSONALITY DISORDER. Diagnostic Criteria: The essential feature is a pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation in a variety of contexts as indicated by four (or more) of the following.

Why does my wife feed our kids a steady diet of junk food? Does she want them to be obese? My ex allows our year old daughter to sleep in the same bed with her. What the hell is going on? My ex seems to get mad when I spend time with our kids and take them places or buy them little gifts or new school clothes. Many men and women in my practice have made the above observations and asked the above questions.

The subject of maternal sabotage is also one of the many common themes on the Shrink4Men Forum. The cognitive dissonance this subject creates cannot be underestimated. Most parents want the best for their children. Good parents want to provide the best education possible for their kids and will move school districts, participate in lotteries and pay high tuition rates in order to obtain it. Good parents want their kids to thrive and grow up to be successful, independent adults.

Most parents work hard to help their children become as or more successful than they are. More likely, her mask of super mom, single martyr mom or victim of my POS ex-husband mom has slipped and she has revealed which parent is the actual problem. Oftentimes, this individual weaponizes shared children and engages in parental alienation.

Everyone Has A Personality

These men and women torture themselves with self-doubt Am I doing the right thing? Why did I have kids with that sadistic lunatic? These thoughts and feelings are a natural byproduct of being in an abusive relationship. They do this through a variety of methods, however, in order for any of their unconscious and conscious manipulations to work, they first need to envelop you in FOG fear, obligation, guilt.

FOG is the intangible glue that keeps many men and women stuck in abusive relationships.

Distortion Campaigns Not Limited to BPD Victims. People without BPD may practice vilification campaigns, also, but they are often tied to BPD or similar personality disorders, especially Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

A place where there are all sorts of amazing diagnoses to give people who rub you the wrong way. At the same time, though, having a framework can help you understand people who have semi-pathological traits and characteristics and can actually make it more tolerable to cope with these people. The diagnostic bible of psychiatry is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual DSM , which is constantly being updated and revised. So the following is accurate as of now, but may change when the new version of the Manual comes out.

Cluster A — People with odd or eccentric characteristics. Cluster B — People who are dramatic, emotional or impulsive. Cluster C — People who are highly anxious and fearful. Someone with Schizotypal Personality Disorder will just sit in their room by themselves reading subversive books and ordering prayer rocks online, but a raging narcissist can make your life a living hell.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Perhaps my favorite disorder to diagnose in people who are difficult to deal with.

The Three Voices: Histrionic, Psychopathic, Borderline